megaman2:

megaman2:

“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”

“no, i said she was fucking goofy”

please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother

(Source: estpolis)

427,519 notes

  • Beethoven: ARE YOU READY TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES?!
  • Audience: *cheers*
  • Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!

648,516 notes

oimatchstickman:

wobbufetts:

aidn:

how the hell do i talk to people

Stand in front of them and press A

image

172,647 notes

My third grade teacher called my mother and said, ‘Ms. Cox, your son is going to end up in New Orleans in a dress if we don’t get him into therapy.’ And wouldn’t you know, just last week I spoke at Tulane University, and I wore a LOVELY green and black dress.
Laverne Cox, speaking at the University of Kentucky  (via krispymeme)

(Source: so-nyeo-shi-daze)

119,853 notes

youredoingalrightkid:

themichaeljordanofdrunkdriving:

dolphitler:

themichaeljordanofdrunkdriving:

roses are black
violets are black
im blind

blind people are going to find this offensive

I don’t think blind people are going to find anything

186,109 notes

groupieguide:

sleeepynatural:

NOBODY IS KIDDING WHEN THEY SAY THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT DAVID BOWIE.

Nobody.

groupieguide:

sleeepynatural:

NOBODY IS KIDDING WHEN THEY SAY THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT DAVID BOWIE.

Nobody.

(Source: youarethemelodyinmyhead)

186,361 notes